The numbers are in...and it's not pretty. :(

I am about to do what every woman avoids doing her whole life. I am publishing all of my measurements.

That's right. While I usually guard this information with my life, I feel it's the only way to keep me accountable. Now, if I don't improve my numbers, the failure is public and not just my own person shame.

I'm not asking for people to discuss this information during normal conversation or constantly bring them up to me as we pass in the hall. I simply want to illustrate where I am and give reference points as my numbers change (for better or for worse).

See...now I'm just stalling. LOL. Ok, here it goes. The follow are my starting numbers...

Weight: 255.2 lbs
Percent body fat: 45.1% (This is from my home scale so I'm not sure how accurate it is but I'm sure it's close enough.)
BMI: 40 - Obese category
Chest: 49.5"
Waist: 45.5"
Hips: 53.5"
Thigh: 30"
Calf: 18.5"
Upper arm: 15.5"
Cholesterol: 210 (optimal <200) It's not too high but heart issues run in my family so I need to watch it.
LDL (bad cholesterol): 152 (optimal <100)
HDL (good cholesterol): 46 (optimal >60)

There it is. It's going to hurt but I am past caring if the world says I'm fat or not. I know what I am. I know who I am. And one has nothing to do with the other.

I am going to be getting my Elliptigo next week and I start my new shift at work (8am to 4:30pm) tomorrow. This week I will be getting organized and will be starting my new life next week. Ok, so "new life" is a little dramatic. I guess I should say the journey to the new me. I like my life, just not the body that's living it. :-)

Why am I here? (Blogging, I mean)

So. Here I am. I'm no blogger and don't really think I have anything to say that other people would want to hear but I needed a place of my own as I am about to start a journey that I've started a hundred times...

Loosing weight and getting into shape.

Really? How many times have I said that? So why is this time different? Why does it matter now?

To be honest...I don't really know myself, however, I have some theories as to my new found motivation...

1. I'm tired.
2. I'm tired of being tired.
3. I hate every picture I end up end.
4. I hate what I see in the mirror.
5. Oh and I am going to be 30 in a couple of years and I swore to myself that my 30s were going to be better than my 20s.
6. Well, let's just say I could keep going...

But I do have some positive theories...

1. I have 2 years before I turn 30 and my 30s will be my best years
2. I am almost done with my Master's and then I'm done with school
3. I'm about to get my Elliptigo and I can't wait!
4. I want to be more for my husband who has given me everything.
5. And then there's the most important reason of all...Alyssa (Squeaky McGee) Brown!

So needless to say there is an endless list of why the time is now. However, today at work was the last push. I am moving to the 8am shift at work and I was talking about it with a co-worker. She is one of the sweetest people there and I know she meant no harm by it but when I mentioned that I was planning on getting some exercise in before work now, she said "I've noticed your weight wasn't the same from when I started here." The weird part...I didn't get upset, embarrassed, or anything. Because it was an honest comment made by an honest person who was truly only making an observation that was accurate. It didn't hurt my feelings like I expected it to. 

So I decided that I needed a place to get my thoughts out. A place to talk out my feelings because I tend to see them clearer when I rationally think about them. A place where I can track and look back at what I've done (or haven't done). A place that would help keep me accountable. A place where my motivations can be permanent and not just a flash in the dark.